I had a great conversation with my husband after watching the latest episode of Scandal, which by the way has been THE BEST episode of any series I've ever watched thus far! If you missed it, watch it here. We both came to the conclusion that in this day and age there is no such thing as a side chick. Side chick traditionally means the mistress, the other woman, the woman on the side, usually the main chick doesn't know anything about her, or even that her man is cheating, the one that gets the scraps from the main course. In the back of ALL our minds we wonder if our man is cheating once in a while. If you deny this..... bish chances are ya man is cheating on ya ass as I write this :)
As we can see side chicks no longer exist, the "main chick" knows who the other woman is, they've met them, talked with them, argued with them, etc. How can we consider them the side chick when the man is IN LOVE with them, and not with the "main chick"? When they are getting all the time, affection, sex, love that the "main chick" is supposed to get? Just because you live 2gether, and you're seen in public during the day doesn't mean you are the main chick. Having kids together doesn't mean you're the main chick, being married doesn't mean you are the main chick. In that instance you're only the main chick as far as the government is concerned, where is it really counts.... sis.... you're the side chick with the 7 babies.
Everyone is calling these "side chicks" homewreckers, whores, bitches, everything but the child of God, but that is where people need to have a damn seat. A woman can only go off what a man tells them when they meet. If you question everything he says... that's NOT a relationship. This is where Joseline and Amina come into play. Stevie and Peter told these women what they wanted and needed to tell them. They probably said hey, I like you, I'm single, I have a baby mama(s) and children. I'm not with my baby mama(s) anymore, we're just friends because we care about each other, and have children together. At that point, what is that woman supposed to do other than believe him? We don't know what these men are telling EITHER women. I'm sure when things started to not add up, and more excuses are being made by the man, that's when some investigating starts, and things start to unravel. At that point she, him, or both are in love... what do you do then? Let the man you love go because what? Amina nor Joseline have no obligation nor loyalty to Tara or Mimi. Peter and Stevie have loyalty to their main chicks. No one can break up a "home" if there is a strong foundation there. You can side eye all you want.... you know its true.
Some women knowingly have a relationship with men that are in a relationship or married *insert* Olivia Pope... you CANT help who you love, and I need people to start being realistic. I'm not making excuses for women that do this but there is always an explanation whether we think its logical, plausible, or wrong. Fitz was NEVER IN LOVE with Mellie, he loves her yes because she is the mother of his kids, she has been a team player from the start but they have a POLITICAL RELATIONSHIP, their fathers set them up. Over time they developed feelings for each other, but Mellie fell in love, Fitz never did. He fell in love with Olivia. Olivia was there as the campaign manager, nothing else, of course she was attracted to Fitz but didn't act on it because he was married. She was there to manage his political career not his penis. One thing led to another, a kiss was shared, and the rest was history. AGAIN I'm NOT making excuses for this behavior, but you can't help who you fall in love with.
I'm not idolizing, praising, nor am I the president of "Side Chicks Unite" but can you really still consider these women side chicks when the man is IN LOVE with them, and what to be with them? Yes these shows are dramatized, and there is editing, but at the core of the show these "story lines" are REAL and its happening as we speak to people without a production team, and cameras following them around
We women play a roll in the man stepping out on us, it always takes two. I say we because I'm a woman too. You can sit there, roll ya eyes, suck ya teeth, but we play apart as well. We stop doing the little things that meant something special to our man. We start getting comfortable, and complacent, we stop getting our hair done, doing our makeup, keeping up with ourselves. How he met us, is how he expects us to stay. If he met you at 145 lbs, shapely, sexy, hair, nails, makeup done all the time... 1 year later he doesn't expect you to be 200 lbs looking a hot ass mess. Then we start with the... "My man should love me no matter what I look like" *skurrrrrrrt* bish miss me with that nonsense. You should always wanna look good for YOURSELF 1st, and then to please your man.
Looks aside, we don't wanna go out anymore, we stop wanting to do fun, exciting things, we stop rubbing our man's back, we stop kissing them when they come home from a long day at work. We stop cooking, cleaning, giving up the coochie, etc. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this isn't the 1950's, we now have careers and college degrees, I get it. But if your man is the MAIN provider even though you work your own money and he is providing you with every and anything you want by working his ass off... the least you can do is clean the bathroom and cook a hot meal. The things you won't do or stop doing that means something to him, trust and believe another woman will do it for you, with no hesitation. When things like that happen, I cant even be mad at the guy because as a woman you should be taking care of your man, you can't be mad he found things that you USED to do in another woman. That's YOUR fault. Side eye me if you want, I'm speaking the truth.
*I always say your real work doesn't start until you've got him, its easy to get any ole man, but you really have to work to GET AND KEEP a REAL GOOD MAN, anything worth having is worth working for*
-Shawnee
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